Fear of a Ghost Interview: Jakob Hammermeier

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Jakob Hammermeier is a man of many hats, a loyal wrestler/ring announcer/manager of the Bruderschaft Des Kreuzes, perhaps the most dastardly stable to have graced the squared circle. He’s been a presence in the Philadelphia-based CHIKARA promotion since January of 2010 as the BDK’s personal ring announcer/ringside attendant, but, after a year of abuse an injury at the hands of CHIKARA’s technicos, he decided to take matters into his own hands, seeking out training from recent WWE-signee Claudio Castagnoli and Ares, the Swiss god of war.

While perhaps not as feared or respected as BDK stalwarts Tursas and Tim Donst, Jakob has nevertheless made a name for himself as an in-ring competitor, having scored victories over the likes of Gregory Iron, Dasher Hatfield, Da Soul Touchaz, and Green Ant, building an impressive resume and maneuvering himself into contention for CHIKARA’s Young Lions Cup, currently held by Tadasuke, of the Osaka Pro promotion in Japan.

While it may not have come across to Jakob from the way this interview went down, Mr. Hammermeier is one of my favorite personalities in indie wrestling. His self-announced ring entrance is fantastic, his shilling of his Team Jakob t-shirts was a highlight of intermission at the three CHIKARA events I’ve been to this year, and the man is as fashion forward as they come, unafraid to wear a tie and a vest without a shirt. In one week, he faces maybe his biggest challenge at CHIKARA’s High Noon iPPV, which takes place Sunday, November 13, live from the former ECW Arena in Philly. In one on one action, he takes on Sara Del Rey, just one of many matches that are well worth your time and money. Jakob was kind enough to answer a few of my questions about the event, which you can order at gfl.tv. Now, the interview…

Q: I suspect most people assume that Sara Del Rey might kill you at Chikara’s High Noon iPPV, but, as you’ve proven in matches against the likes of Eddie Kingston, you’re a resilient competitor. What’s the secret to your strength?

Jakob Hammermeier: Well put mein freund. I am resilient. Sara Del Rey is going to underestimate me just like everyone does, this along with the fact that I am more resilient than anybody on the CHIKARA roster. Bone density is the secret. I drink more milk than the average bear, that’s for sure!

Q: As some may be aware, you’re the first graduate of the BDK WrestleFactory. What advantages do you feel that has given you over a graduate of another wrestling school?

JH: Ares und Claudio Castagnoli are bar none the BEST trainers in all of profressional wrestling. I feel this gives me an advantage because they honed in to train me all by mein lonesome as opposed to one teacher training a whole class. It is comparable to the private schools versus the deplorable U.S. public school system. Assisted lessons by the rest of the BDK (including the aformentioned “homewrecker”) I received a melting pot of different styles from which to pick und chose.

Q: Your in-ring career has been relatively short. What would winning Cibernetico or defeating a world-renowned competitor like Del Rey do for somebody in your position? Do you think about taking matches outside of CHIKARA—a Team Jakob World Tour, maybe?

JH: Mo’ money! Mo’ recognition! Mo’ Jakob merchandise as a result! Also, don’t think for one second that I have taken mein eyes off of the YLC. So a big win may get me in a YLC match.

Q: Being a member of the BDK must make you quite a catch at the local biergarten. Who is a better wingman—Tim Donst, or Tursas?

JH: Tim Donst. Tursas consumes women almost as quickly as he consumes mead and venison. Not much of a conversationalist. Tim on the other hand, usually talks about himself so much that the women just need someone to listen to them, we usually talk about hair products.

Q: Your role in the BDK has evolved rapidly, from ring announcer to manager to in-ring competitor. What do you see in the BDK’s future? What role will you play in it?

JH: I see the BDK turning things around. We obviously did a number on a gaggle of technicos in CHIKARA’s southern excursion. At the Cibernetico und High Noon, we will ride that momentum into next season. I plan on being a soldier for the cause, with always keeping the YLC in the back of mein mind.

Q: If you could call your finishing maneuver anything  besides the “Rude Awakening,” what would it be?

JH: Although mein finishing maneuver is indeed inspired by Rick Rude (one of mein childhood favorites) mein variation already has a name, “Gute Nacht!” it truly is devastating.

Q: As a ring announcer, a match’s presentation must be very important to you. If you could hand pick a two-man announce team to call your match at High Noon, who would man the commentation station?

JH: JH: Good ol’ JR und LFC [CHIKARA’ s own Leonard F. Chikarason] .

Q: You’re a frequent presence at ringside, particularly during the matches Tursas is competing in. What philosophies do you bring as a manager, and how does somebody as wise and battle-tested as he respond to your suggestions?

JH: I don’t really have philosophies of mein own. I just take mein orders from Ares and remind Tursas of the battle plan. Sometimes his rage gets in the way of strategy, und I am there to keep him on track.

Q: What, right now, is a bigger threat to the BDK: A unified Spectral Envoy, or the free radical, Sara Del Rey.

JH: I had no idea that this interview would have such loaded biased questions. This is horribly unprofessional. This interview is over!

And that’s how my e-mail communique with Jakob ended. I did not get any tips on hair care, and I did not find out which IKEA the BDK plans to storm if they’re successful at Cibernetico: The Animated Series and the High Noon iPPV. For more information on High Noon, Jakob Hammermeier, and CHIKARA itself, head on over to chikarapro.com.