Colette Arrand

Tag: Wrestling Worth Watching

  • Wrestling Worth Watching: Ring of Honor (10/22/11) and TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/27/11)

    Wrestling Worth Watching: Ring of Honor (10/22/11) and TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/27/11)

    Ring of Honor (10/22/11) (Watch it at rohwrestling.com)

    TJ Perkins vs. Mike Mondo: I’m going to go out on a limb and say that being in the Spirit Squad wasn’t the best showcase for Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mitch, or Mikey, as only one of them got on TV right after the dissolution of the group (Kenny), and only one of them is on TV right now (Nicky, AKA Dolph Ziggler AKA “The Heel”). Having not seen Mike Mondo outside the constraints of that gimmick (five on two handicap matches are a horrible showcase, by the way), I had to wonder what the hell they saw in the dude, but he’s a fine enough worker with a Crash Hardy style gimmick that’d probably work better if the dudes he encountered in ROH were absolute giants. TJ Perkins has been wrestling since he was 14 and, at 27-years-old, is a very well-rounded wrestler with some nifty moves. The one I liked the most was the figure-four deathlock, a cross between the figure four (obviously) and the Texas Cloverleaf. Good match to start out the second round of ROH TV tapings, and both men were signed to contracts as a result.

    The Briscoes Man Up: After being informed by Jim Cornette that they’d need to beat the All-Night Express again in order to get a shot at Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team, the boys from Sandy Forks, DE started beating up on each other. Cornette, as usual, was fabulous in his understatement here, at once afraid of the Briscoes and trying to make sure his word was kept law.

    Kevin Steen Signs: ROH is doing with Kevin Steen what WWE should have been content to do with CM Punk–let his name be a rumor, a wave building momentum before it crashes onto the shore. When Steen does make his return for ROH, it’ll be awesome. That was less true of Punk’s return.

    Jay Lethal vs. Mike Bennett: The more I see him, the more I like Mike Bennett. His gimmick, a wrestler who is using wrestling to break into Hollywood, is exactly the sort of thing that would work in a dirty, grungy fed like Ring of Honor, and I especially like that he has some chumpy ex-Jobber with a Burgess Merrideth gimmick and the name of a horrible restaurant. What puts him over more is simply the fact that he’s a good wrestler, one who’ll probably go far in the business, and here, for the ROH TV Championship, he faces the also good Jay Lethal, who has made the most of his recent departure from TNA. Watching Jay Lethal’s ROH output directly before or after an episode of TNA’s IMPACT Wrestling  is a stark reminder of the sort of star the company could have had were they actually interested in having stars, and he continues to prove that. I think that, five shows in, Ring of Honor knows that it doesn’t have to give as much away for free as it did with the last set of tapings, so this here’s a draw, and, unlike Lethal’s win over El Generico, it doesn’t go to overtime. Good match, good show. This is a good formula, regardless of how slow ROH’s build is.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Having the second TV Title match on TV go to a draw. I get that the time limit is part of the deal, and I know that, with one TV show and the constraints of a four-shows-at-a-time taping schedule, fitting more than one TV Title match in a month is a hard proposition. Regardless, the anti-climax isn’t really a good finish for a good-guy champion. Hell, the anti-climax is rarely a good finish for the bad guy, unless you’re Lord Steven Regal, who practically owned WCW’s television title division for much of the 90s, escaping from bouts via time limit draw and sneaky victories. Lethal and Bennet ended the match clubbering each other as the bell rang, but if I wanted to see that kind of thing, I’d probably watch MMA. If the face is going to pull out a draw via time limit, I’m under the impression that he should either be saved by the bell, or the heel should do the same. It’s a slight blemish on what was otherwise one of the best matches of the week, but there you go.

    TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/27/11)

    Samoa Joe Remembers Samoa Joe: I’m a big sucker for sentimental speeches by first time title holders, and James Storm’s was certainly that, talking about how he and his dad watched Hogan vs. Andre and how he always wanted to be a champion, even if his dad wouldn’t live to see it. But I was more excited by the prospect of Samoa Joe getting back into the main event picture. As a company, TNA should be doing everything in their power to show that they’re the exact opposite of the WWE. Putting Samoa Joe back in the title picture is a step in the right direction, even if I get the feeling that he’s going to be used as the really good wrestler who makes other decent wrestlers look really good themselves.

    Christopher Daniels Calls Rob Van Dam “Bob Van Dam:” Why this hasn’t happened before is a mystery.

    Christopher Daniels Gets Disqualified For Hitting RVD With a Toolbox: It was plastic. Because TNA is hardcore.

    Ric Flair Give Parenting Advice: “Tough love. I’m an expert at it.” According to that Grantland article, he really is.

    Bully Ray Continues to Rule: “Jeff, I’ve never respected you, because rehab is for quitters.”

    Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode: Given seven minutes, Bobby Roode continues to prove that TNA probably should have given him the title at Bound For Glory, and Samoa Joe continues to prove that he should be a bigger part of the company. I imagine, given an extra ten or so minutes, the two would have had a match in the running for TNA’s match of the year. But hey, Bischoff and Son needed to have another segment devoted to posturing and light McMahon Family Drama.

    Questionable Decision of the Week I: Bringing in a cast member from the Jersey Shore. TNA’s already done this once, and it didn’t work. WWE brought in Snookie for WrestleMania, and her participation has all but been swept under the rug. The worst part was that they kept talking about it. Jeff Hardy’s return match? “Watch for Ronnie next week!” Number one contentership match? “RONNIE’S GONNA BE HERE!” Ric Flair mugging Eric Bischoff’s kid in the night’s most important (to TNA management, at least) segment? THEY TALKED ABOUT RONNIE AS FLAIR STOMPED THE KID’S FACE. There is no discernible benefit to bringing in any castmates from the Jersey Shore, so I think I speak for everybody who watches wrestling when I post the following image macro:

    Questionable Decision of the Week II: Not letting Roode vs. Joe be the actual main event of the evening. Instead, the non-drama between Eric Bischoff and his son, a lesser Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon for those interested in the dusty corners of WCW trivia (the irony of Flair sticking up for Bischoff in a family matter is rich in irony for all of four people) got to chew up not one, not two, but three whole segments. The first one was amusing for the “Let’s Go Garrett” chants, further proof that TNA fans will chant anything. The second one was OK for an incoherent Ric Flair telling Garrett that his name wasn’t Ric Flair, but God. The third one, beyond being overkill, saw the invention and abortion of the Ric Flair Kiss My Ass Club, and a father punching his own son in the balls. Flair, as he gets older, looks nastier and nastier as he lays in chops and stomps and punches, but Hogan and Sting no longer appear to be part of this storyline, and it looks like we’re headed to a situation where Flair will be taking on Eric Bischoff’s son in a wrestling match. Jay Lethal? Sting? Fine. Do what you gotta do, Slick Ric. Garrett Bischoff? I hope he’s the wrestling equivalent of Rembrandt, otherwise this smacks not only of nepotism, but of a guy clearly out of touch with the realities of his age and abilities. Flair, as he’s shown a few times since “retiring” at WrestleMania 24, can still go, given either an incredibly game opponent (Lethal) or one who knows him in and out (Sting), but the dude’s got to realize that the term “special attraction” only applies if you’re not wrestling everybody, if you’re not the focus of the big angle. Two weeks ago it looked like the company was set to turn a new page, ready to focus on new people. If I’d known one of those new people was going to be Flair, as much as the guy’s an icon, I probably wouldn’t have started covering TNA on a week-to-week basis.

  • Wrestling Worth Watching: WWE Raw (10/17/11) and SmackDown! (10/21/11)

    Wrestling Worth Watching: WWE Raw (10/17/11) and SmackDown! (10/21/11)

    WWE Raw (10/17/11)

    Mexican Fans: They were given a mess of a storyline with a failed 90s jobber (Johnny Ace) at the focal point and a main event featuring Jim Ross and Michael Cole, two men whose voices they only hear on TV if directly involved in an angle. Despite that, the crowd’s reaction to everything was absolutely amazing. The WWE should do Raw and SmackDown in other countries more regularly, especially if they can figure out a way of doing them live.

    Triple H Has Immigration Issues: Stopping him from delivering a 20-minute monolog. Huzzah!

    Swaggler On the Mic: The WWE have been fairly liberal with mic time lately, and it’s resulted in the reemergence of both Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger as the future of the company. Ziggler is just a very good, free-wheeling talker. Swagger, in Mexico, decided to sing the Star Spangled Banner, which was great 1) because of his lisp, 2) because of the crowd’s reaction, and 3), because he lost his place and blamed said crowd. Swagger’s match against Zack Ryder and Ziggler’s against Mason Ryan were nothing too special, but if they’re on the mic, I’m listening.

    Jim Ross: Few men in the current WWE can get away with calling somebody else a “son of a bitch.” Few men in WWE history can do it quite like Jim Ross.

    Michael Cole’s Horrifying Orange Singlet: BEHOLD!

    Jim Ross Makes Michael Cole Tap Out: Pretty much the only positive match-related thing of Raw, which was mostly yakking and fistfights. The Mexican crowd ate it up (I don’t know why), but they deserved better than John Cena’s C-game and an encounter between two American non-wrestlers.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Having the finish between Jim Ross and Michael Cole decide the stipulation for the WWE Title match between John Cena and Alberto Del Rio. Their storyline has been sadly inessential ever since shunting CM Punk to the side at Summerslam, and now they’re going to settle it in a Last Man Standing Match because Jim Ross made Michael Cole tap out to an ankle lock. I’ve always thought that the face works better in his role if he’s at a disadvantage, but Cena, by choosing one of his specialty matches and making Del Rio look chumpy (a shot with the ring steps put Del Rio away for a very fast 10 count), it’s another situation where it looks like Cena can’t lose. That makes things less interesting than they already were, which is too bad.

    WWE SmackDown! (10/21/11) (Watch it on YouTube)

    The Response to Alberto Del Rio: The scuttlebutt on these here interwebs had it that Del Rio was only WWE champion because of the quick Mexican tour. If that was indeed their intent, it was a great idea. Fan reaction to Del Rio was intense all week long, and his entrance on SmackDown was akin to the Chicago crowd’s response to CM Punk at this year’s Money in the Bank PPV. It didn’t surprise me, considering that Del Rio is 1) awesome and 2) the first Mexican-born WWE Champion ever, but crowd reactions like Del Rio’s are absolute gold.

    Mark Henry vs. John Morrison: If John Morrison is on his way out, as many suggest, you wouldn’t know it from the way he bumps around the ring for Mark Henry in this match, which got more play than their Raw encounter. Morrison’s finishing maneuver again looks pretty chumpy when a guy kicks out of it at one, but watching him get wrecked by the still-awesome Mark Henry is the most enjoyable Morrison’s been, for me, since his run as ECW Champion.

    Daniel Bryan Won’t Be Shaving His Beard Until WrestleMania: Be still, my beating heart.

    Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan: Not as good as their Summerslam-stealing effort a few months ago, but given the constraints of a TV time limit, Barrett and Bryan continue to demonstrate great chemistry (though everybody probably has chemistry with Daniel Bryan). It’s a wonder why their feud didn’t go on longer.

    Michael Cole Brings G.I. Bro Up: Which is streets ahead of making fun of Booker T for being in Harlem Heat.

    Cody Rhodes: He is awesome. You already knew that. He’s also maybe the first person who has managed to make Randy Orton somewhat interesting to anybody beyond Randy Orton fans since Randy came into his own as a fixture in the main event scene. Granted, Orton is still really boring, but at least I want to see the match he’s involved in.

    Máscara contra Máscara: It hasn’t really translated in the ring, but the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara feud has been an interesting blend of lucha libre and WWE storytelling, the importance of identity and the desire for revenge. In Mexico City, the two Sin Caras collided for what is, I think, the WWE’s first mask vs. mask match, which joins a short list of American lucha de apuesta contests. This match was incredibly important for another reason, too: If Sin Cara (Mistico) failed to have a great match in front of a hometown audience against a guy wrestling his style, I’m not sure how much longer he would have lasted in the WWE. It wasn’t the best match of either man’s career, but it was a good one, the best of either’s WWE tenure thus far. In a nice touch, Sin Cara got to win with his Mexican finisher, La Mistica, a headscissors/armbar combo. If, in a few years, we’ve forgotten all about Sin Cara’s first few months in the WWE, I think this match will probably be the watershed moment where everything went right and things for the former Mistico started rolling in the right direction.

    Michael Cole’s Reportage on Sin Cara Negro’s Visage: “He’s normal, with a crew cut.”

    To Booker T, this picture represents the ugliest thing in the world.

    Beth and Natalya Get Microphone Time: And sound way less awkward than most divas do on the mic. After Beth and Natalya turned heel, it was only a matter of time before they started getting the facetime necessary to establish themselves as the duo the rest of the divas would need to gun for. Adding that submission move was a great idea, and dropping the lame “eat your vegetables” platitudes was wise. Now they’re only about hurting people to cause the fans some anguish.

    Big Show Doing Push-Ups: PUSH-UPS.

    Ricardo Rodriguez’s Utter Disdain For Mexico: This man can do no wrong. For my money, the best male valet ever (note, there’s a difference between “valet” and “manager”).

    Alberto Del Rio vs. The Big Show: Nothing super fancy, and the cross-armbreaker spot used here was better utilized in the match between Sara Del Ray and Claudio Castagnoli, but the Big Show’s first match in four moths is probably his best singles outing in a few years. He was rejuvenated as Chris Jericho’s tag team partner, but he hasn’t looked this surehanded on his own since his run as the ECW Champion, way back in 2006. Somehow, I’m looking forward to his match against Mark Henry at Vengeance, when, previously, a match between the two would make me reconsider my decision to watch.

    Questionable Decision of the Week I: Sheamus’ nickname, “The Great White,” is now official, appearing on the TitanTron as he heads down to the ring. Of course, the WWE probably wants it to make people think of the great white shark, but anybody watching with even a modicum of sports history knowledge will associate the nickname with the phrase “great white hope,” which dates back to the days when Jack Johnson, an African-American, was a threat to the heavyweight championship of boxing. When he finally won a world championship, the press actually begged for a “great white hope” to prove Caucasian athletic supremacy. Long story short, if Sheamus starts feuding with Mark Henry for the World Heavyweight Championship, his nickname is going to become a cringe-machine.

    Questionable Decision of the Week II: Every diva beyond Beth and Natalya has pretty much the worst theme music since the American Males. Every song–every song–is about how hot the diva is, and is usually sung by some lifeless schmoe who’d be doing the world more good by working late-shift at the local Waffle House. Compare and contrast:

    I think my dislike of a lot of wrestlers directly correlates to how miserable their theme music makes me. Sure, talent is one thing, but I can look beyond that when you’re taking up less than 1% of my week. Run afoul of my musical sensibilities, and that all changes. Eve, like Kelly Kelly, Brooke Tessmacher, and a litany of women the WWE’s hired who’ve gradually transformed into wrestlers, have all improved, but with their music and the commentary team reminding me that I’m supposed to like these women because they’re attractive, I tend to look past the positives and detest that which is rammed down my throat.

  • Wrestling Worth Watching: Ring of Honor (10/15/11) and TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/20/11)

    Wrestling Worth Watching: Ring of Honor (10/15/11) and TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/20/11)

    Ring of Honor (10/15/11)

    Briscoe Brothers Interview: I could listen to Jay and Mark talk about hauling 400 lbs. of dead chickens around their father’s farm all day. So far, there’s been a ton of focus on the Briscoes, which makes sense seeing as they’re probably the longest tenured guys on the ROH roster, and they’ve been a consistently rewarding presence. Them chickens smell as bad as Hass and Benjamin.

    The Briscoe Brothers vs. The All Night Express: These two teams have been feuding long enough that I saw them live in Dearborn, MI back in June, but their every match, be it no disqualification, first blood, or Ladder match rules, hasn’t suffered for familiarity. Though I was under the impression that their ladder match was a feud-ender for #1 contendership to Hass and Benjamin’s Tag Team Titles, this bout was also billed as such and, as a straight, no-frills tag team match, was just as good, if not more so, than the one I saw live. Rhett Titus and Kenny King, the All Night Express, are proof that ROH can find (and find purpose for) new guys in the wake of roster-shifting events, and they’ve really grown as personalities over the past year. The finish to this was a little unintentionally funny, as Kevin Kelly begged referee Todd Sinclair to keep Titus and Mark Briscoe away from the ringside commentary table, which was enough of a distraction that Jay was able to kick King in the groin and roll him up for the win. It’s been awhile since a company has put the commentary table right next to the ring, and even longer since that placement played into the finish in some way other than having one guy put the other through it. Clever.

    Michel Elgin vs. Eddie Edwards: I think, were someone new to wrestling to watch this match, that the line between “it’s fake” and “it’s real(ish)” would blur just a bit, which is as much as you can ask of an American wrestling match in the internet age. Oh sure, the matches are predetermined, but it’s tough to watch these two chop, kick, and clothesline each other silly without cringing a little bit. I’m still indifferent to Eddie Edwards and his tag partner/ROH World Champion Davey Richards, but I’m starting to warm up to Elgin, who is decidedly old-school looking and is, from the looks of things, two years of male-pattern baldness away from rocking a mean skullet. Despite that he’s only 235 lbs., he looks like an absolute freak of nature and wrestles like one, too. He’s one to watch.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Taking a commercial break during the main event of a pre-taped show. There should be a moratorium on going to commercial during a match across WWE, TNA, and ROH, to be honest. Cut two minutes away from the opening monologue or any number of hype videos, and you can show a full match, without interrupting the flow with an ad for Hardee’s Steakhouse Burger or Light Strike backyard laser tag. This is especially true of a show you’re posting in full on line. Edit out the commercial breaks and stitch the missing footage back in. Worse, during the Elgin/Edwards match, they cut away from the match as it happened to show an ad for rohwrestling.com. Create a little ad for the bottom of the screen. Don’t obscure the action. It’s the little things that will truly set a product like ROH apart from their competition.

    TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/20/11)

    TNA’s Largest Audience Ever: They pulled in 2,000,000 viewers for the first time ever this past thursday, which, for the longest time, seemed as impossible as landing on the moon once did. Did TNA’s 2,000,000 viewers get enough to keep them coming back for more? Well…no.

    James Storm: A whopping 23 minutes and three commercial breaks into the opening segment of IMPACT, “Cowboy” James Storm delivers the first good line of the night when he climbed into the ring and said hello to “Curtis Angle.” I’m a simple man, but that sort of disrespect gets me every time. Even after 23 minutes and three commercial breaks of talking. Also of note: “Sting, we both wear sunglasses indoors.”

    Tara & Brooke Tessmacher vs. Winter and Angelina Love: If you asked me in 2007, when Extreme Expose was wasting six minutes of ECW a week, who the better wrestler in 2011 would be, Kelly Kelly or Brooke, I would have said “Well, I hope they’ll both be out of wrestling by then.” Neither of them are, and both of them are now current or former titleholders. It’s easy to point to Kelly Kelly as a person who has majorly improved, but Brooke (TNA finally dropped the “Miss”) actually makes a majority of her offense look convincing, which is something I doubt Kelly will ever master, no matter how loud she screams during the headscissors. Granted, I’d prefer seeing Sara Del Rey or Ayako Hamada (who TNA once freakin’ HAD on their roster) every week, but whoever trained Brooke did a solid job, and should be commended.

    Jeff Hardy’s Full Name: If you say “Jeffery Nero Hardy,” I’m gonna laugh. If you keep calling him “Nero,” like he’s some sort of cat, I’m going to keep laughing.

    D’Lo Brown and Al Snow: I suppose TNA heard the “D’Lo” and “Head” chants at Bound For Glory and decided to give them room during the Hardy/Jarrett confrontation to appease the audience. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but if two Attitude-era guys are being allowed to steal the spotlight from what is probably your biggest angle, and the crowd appears to want it, you should maybe consider refocusing the angle.

    Gail Kim: Awes0me, even if she’s going to be hanging around the eternal screamfest that is Karen Jarrett. Kim’s WWE output has made her fairly underrated, and now she’s back in the company she made her name in. Granted Awesome Kong is no longer around to feud with, but Kim as an active, happy competitor is good news.

    Eric Bischoff Claims He’s the Man Who Made Hogan Who He Is Today: Finally, someone to blame for those Rent-A-Center ads.

    Eric Bischoff’s Kid’s Tattoo: Of all the questionable tattoos in the world, few will come near Garret Bischoff’s tattoo of a surfboard that reads “Bischoff.” I know Eric is a relentless marketer and self-promoter, but this tattoo takes it to a new level.

    Questionable Decision of the Week I: Devoting thirty minutes to Sting/Hulk Hogan, Sting/Dixie Carter, Sting/Kurt Angle, and Sting/Bobby Roode/Kurt Angle. You guys just had your biggest, maybe best, show of the year. How about following that up with some wrestling? Or a shorter segment that leads into wrestling? Something involving wrestling? Please?

    Questionable Decision of the Week II: Roode “getting screwed.” From the way Bobby Roode whined, you’d think that Kurt Angle came down and ordered referee Kurt Angle to call for the bell, rung by timekeeper Kurt Angle, signifying Bobby Roode’s loss to Kurt Angle via phantom submission. He held the rope, dude. If anybody screwed you, it was the dude who decided to end the match that way, and the guy who decided not to mention your arm clearly hanging underneath the ropes. Besides the questionable rhetoric, I got tired of hearing people talk about screwing Roode. I didn’t even laugh when Angle said he screwed him in the ass.

    Questionable Decision of the Week III: Bringing Jeff Hardy back. Granted, I suppose you could say that he’s part of the reason TNA grabbed their best ratings ever, but I feel like I’ve been down this road a million times, and not just with Hardy, who is making something like his fourth drug-or-burnout-realated comeback in six years. People…they still love him, but after firing his brother for similar reasons that should have seen Jeff out the door, after miraculously getting off light for drug trafficking charges, and based on past experience with TNA writer Vince Russo booked drug and alcohol “redemption” angles (Road Warrior Hawk and Scott Hall come to mind), I can’t help but be skeptical. Granted, Hardy is a mega-over face and won’t be treated like a joke, as Hawk and Hall were, but when the heel says “you no-showed on this company multiple times” and “you’ve got issues that probably aren’t sorted out” and “you don’t deserve to waltz back into your main event spot,” I’m going to be agreeing a lot with the heel, which is bad. Then again, who knows? Maybe Jeff is motivated, mentally ready, and still has enough of a fanbase to justify handing him a fourth of IMPACT Wrestling. If that’s the case, have him say “You’re right, I don’t deserve my spot, but I’m going to earn it,” instead of “THESE FANS WANT ME BACK!” Make him redeemable. Right now, he doesn’t deserve jack.

    Questionable Decision of the Week IV: James Storm beats Kurt Angle for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship…in less than 60 seconds. I understand why, and don’t find fault with TNA for getting the title off of an injured Angle, but this swap is indicative of TNA’s utter inability to change directions as needed. As soon as Angle got injured last night, that should have sealed Roode winning. It didn’t. Then Kurt Angle came out and said that there was a no-rematch clause in their contract. This, of course, makes no sense, as an Angle/Roode rematch is pretty much the only way to go, beyond not screwing up the week before. Then, TNA’s big belt changed hands in less than a minute for the second time this year. I’m not sure that the words “title prestige” mean much in 2011, but if they did, the legitimacy of TNA’s main strap would be unable to hold. Grated, we now stand to see an ROH-lite story of a friendly rivalry between partners over the main title, but all that work TNA put into Roode’s ascension to the main event? Pretty much worthless.

  • Wrestling Worth Watching: TNA Bound For Glory (10/16/11) and Webshows

    Wrestling Worth Watching: TNA Bound For Glory (10/16/11) and Webshows

    If you know of any indie wrestling webshows that might be worth featuring in this space, please let me know. I’m all for indies, but, right now, the WWE is the only promotion I know of with a major web presence, in that they have full shows, with full matches, available on YouTube. I wish their developmental league, FCW, did the same, but alas, their TV show is uploaded to YouTube illegally and infrequently, meaning I’ll only be able to cover it here and there, and will probably never have a handle on their ongoing storylines. Bound For Glory coverage is below, but first, you must suffer the wrath of NXT: Redemption and Heath Slater.

    WWE NXT: Redemption (10/12/11) (Watch it on YouTube)

    Derrik Bateman and Maxine: I wasn’t much for Maxine or any of the Diva hopefuls on NXT season three, but this pairing, “born out of spite,” is pretty good, Maxine’s somewhat wooden delivery of lines be damned. Bateman’s just the right amount of cocky, knows how to respond to a hostile/uncaring crowd, and works cheap heat into his promos in interesting ways. The two actually make out on occasion, as well. Not that I watch wrestling for the liplocks, but usually when a man and a woman are dating on WWE programming, you only know it because the woman stands at ringside and looks bored as her man wrestles. It’s a somewhat refreshing change of pace.

    Kissing? GROSS.

    Percy Watson and Titus O’Neil Call Maxine and Bateman the Ugliest Couple in WWE History: Meaning I get to post Harvey Whippleman’s touching ode to Bertha Faye.

    William Regal’s Maxine Fact of the Week: A cousin of her’s is a champion hula-hooper from Bangkok. She grows prize turnips, and is an amateur ferret-wrangler.

    AJ vs. Maxine: Probably the best diva’s match on WWE or TNA this week. Not much competition, but hey, it was pretty good. I wish they’d go ahead and give both women a last name by now, though.

    The Usos vs. C. Reks (Curt Hawkins & Tyler Reks): If the WWE is serious about bringing back tag team wrestling, matches like this are a good building block. Last week’s match and this one between these two teams was quite polished, and both teams look ready for a program against a team like Air Boom or Swaggler, depending on who gets the titles at Vengeance. Until one of them steps up to the main roster, I’ll take matches like this on my internets every week, if you don’t mind.

    William Regal: “I’ve spent a fortune on gambling, partying, and naughty women. The rest I’ve just spent foolishly.”

    Percy Watson vs. Derrik Bateman: I’ll take matches like this every week, too. Can’t say I love Watson’s moveset, but he looks good in the ring. Bateman’s also worth watching. They’ll inject some much needed life into Raw or SmackDown! (or, more likely, Superstars) whenever NXT: Redemption finally comes to an end.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Letting Percy Watson and Titus O’Neil talk without a script. Or if they were scripted, not firing the dude who wrote it. Between Watson’s frequent Kool-Aid Man interjections and O’Neil’s genuine awkwardness, I spend most of my time annoyed with the two of them.

    WWE Superstars (10/13/11) (Watch it on YouTube)

    Drew McIntyre: I’ve had a soft spot for Drew since I went to a house show earlier this year. His circumstance is fairly unfortunate, as, after an early-career push as Vince McMahon’s “chosen one,” he seems to have stalled out completely. With a slight change of gimmick, he’d probably do what Cody Rhodes and R-Truth before him have done and rise up the WWE ranks. What doesn’t need to change is his offense. I think I’ve heard every announcer in the history of wrestling say that a guy “uses the ring as a weapon.” McIntyre is the first who the phrase actually applies to. In his match against Alex Riley, he steps back from a flying Riley and shoves his face into the ring apron. I’ve also seen him squash legs between the rings steps and turnbuckle post, and yank the shoulder through the metal girder that makes up the outer perimeter of the ring. I appreciate unique touches like that.

    Ezekiel Jackson’s New Gear: Looking less and less like Ahmed Johnson all the time, bro.

    You don't want to look like Ahmed, lest your career take a Pearl River plunge.

    Ridiculous Claims of Manliness on the Behalf of Heath Slater: This week, we learn that Heath Slater likes to go to bars, put on Skynard, and challenge people to fights. I’d like to live in a world where this was true, because I’d be living in a world where Heath Slater’s face is turned into ground beef on a nightly basis. Alas, I’m merely meant to believe that Heath is some sort of tough guy. I refuse to believe any such claims. It’s either funnier/disrespectful depending on what you make of the assault charges filed against Slater earlier this year.

    I will fight you. But only to southern rock. And only if you're a woman.

    TNA Bound For Glory (10/16/11)

    Kendrick vs. Austin Aries: Just a good opening match between two guys who are very good at what they do. Cool spots aren’t quite enough to get me behind a wrestling match, but Kendrick and Aries are two guys who can string together a solid wrestling match, and they set the tone for a card that was full of blood and violence by going move for move, counter for counter. It didn’t quite steal the show, but it made me glad that Aries went back on the talk that he was retiring from wrestling. He’s great, and I wish more wrestlers were like him.

    Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn: I’d like to say I was shocked by how not terrible this match was, but their encounter at Destination X was better than expected, and this bout, which added a poorly-named No Disqualification stipulation (if your announcers can’t explain what “Full Metal Mayhem” is, then don’t book the match with that title), was no different. In fact, it was probably a little closer to the ECW matches that finally made Lynn a name after a career’s worth of solid work, and if this is his televised swan song, living up to the encounters that brought you to the dance is a good way to go out. Of course, if he sticks around, I wouldn’t be opposed. Lynn’s a solid hand, and, as long as the crowd doesn’t get on his case about looking like Randy the Ram, his presence in TNA’s X-Division would be welcome.

    Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan vs. Crimson: This match was way better than I expected it to be, thanks in large part to Samoa Joe finding another gear and wrestling like his higly-motivated former self, circa 2007. I hardly ever expect logic from TNA three ways, but this one had it, never failed to entertain, and was well paced. I would have loved a Samoa Joe win, but you can’t always get what you want.

    Bully Ray Piledrives Mr. Anderson on Concrete: That spot is in my blood. It calls to me. When Bully Ray actually hit Anderson with it in the back, my heart did a backflip. It’s a shame the piledriver hasn’t gone back to being a match-ending spot (the move used to be instant death), but I’ll take any televised piledriver in 2011.

    AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels: I’m not a big fan of either guy, and I wasn’t quite sure about putting two high-flying guys into an I Quit match, but the match delivered on it’s premise for the most part and justified its goofy ending by having Daniels bumrush Styles at the conclusion. Towards the end of the match, Daniels was choking out Styles with a chair when he grabbed the microphone and threatened to literally kill Styles, which is something I don’t recall happening too much in a wrestling match. Obviously this meant that Styles was going to win, but it was a great, Terry Funk-lite moment that led to the ending, which was less great, but with a flash of Mick Foley’s I Quit match, minus the specter of Milena. The heel, when faced with a face carrying a screwdriver aimed for the eyes, should probably do two things: Lose the eye (like Funk would) or quit out of cowardice, like Foley. Either route was fine, and it’s good that the course wasn’t diverted.

    Lie there while I literally murder you!

    Jeff Jarrett’s Stupid Skull Shirt Gets Ripped Apart: I stopped caring about Jeff Jarrett in 1999, and Jeff Hardy around the first break-up of the Hardy Boyz, and my not caring about either has kind of paid off as Jarrett’s largely been a non-factor in wrestling beyond an OK feud with Booker T and some decent stuff in TNA, and Hardy has pretty much been the world’s biggest flake. The only think I appreciated about the Hardy/Jarrett argument/brawl from Bound For Glory (which is presumably why the tag title match was pushed off the card) is that Jeff Jarrett’s stupid skull shirt got shredded. I hate skull shirts. I hate them even more when dudes over 40 wear them in public. Rip that shirt, Jeff Hardy. Kill it good.

    D’Lo Brown: My inner-child wanted to know why he wasn’t still wearing a chest protector.

    You're looking at the real deal, now.

    Sting Finally Gets a Cleanish Win Over Hulk Hogan: Too bad it was still marred by awful storylines, copious interference, and, oh yeah, the fact that Hulk Hogan, after a back surgery, can’t actually wrestle. Also, too bad it wasn’t in 1997. I was expecting him to hit the leg drop and dissolve into a puddle of goo. Instead, he bled buckets and awkwardly turned face. MORE ON THAT LATER.

    Bobby Roode vs. Kurt Angle: It was just OK, a lesser version of any number of Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle matches, which I was never really that big a fan of, to be honest, and was certainly lacking Benoit’s intensity. I would have been fine with that had Roode won, but he didn’t. MORE ON THAT LATER, TOO.

    Questionable Decision of the Week I: Karren Jarrett as the special referee of the Knockouts Title match. TNA’s women’s division can usually be counted on for a solid match, every time out, but not with a special referee who is obviously only going to pull for one of the four people involved in the match, who obviously doesn’t know much about refereeing, and who obviously doesn’t have much business in a wrestling ring. I don’t know if I’m supposed to see the irony in a former-stripper ragging on the women’s division for looking like strippers, but it added too much unnecessary b.s. to a match that should have been about one woman’s quest to win her first title. Instead, we get a screwy finish and a ton of impending drama that’s going to be hard to care about. This match, by the way, is where the PPV nearly lost all its momentum.

    Questionable Decision of the Week II: Hulk Hogan turning face. The crowd ate it up, but seriously, it’s 2011: Stop devoting valuable television time to the architects of the nWo. They’re never going to be responsible for something that big again, and I can’t say that I’m looking forward to the any number of eventual Hulk Hogan matches, especially because one of them will probably be against Ric Flair, who is another guy who should probably be legally prohibited from stepping foot into a building with a wrestling ring.The live crowd ate up Hogan turning face because Sting asked him too, but, beyond it bearing a resemblance to Return of the Jedi, it ate up a lot of time that could have been devoted to, I dunno, wrestling.

    Questionable Decision of the Week III: Kurt Angle retains the World Title. Way to create a new star, guys. I don’t care if Roode has a case for a rematch; if you build a show around this being a career-defining, page-turning moment in the history of your company and, on the biggest show on your calendar, fail to follow through on that promise, what was the point of making that promise in the first place?

    I'm with you, dude.

    Random YouTube Video of the Week

  • Wrestling Worth Watching: WWE Raw (10/10/11) and SmackDown! (10/14/11)

    Wrestling Worth Watching: WWE Raw (10/10/11) and SmackDown! (10/14/11)

    WWE Monday Night Raw (10/10/11)
    CM Punk Points Out the Logical Fallacies of the WWE Walk-Out: Raw didn’t really start out too strong, with a group of dudes whining about another group of dudes who were whining about the actions of one dude in particular, Triple H. I still can’t make heads or tails of the situation, but moments before the walk out ended, CM Punk, John Cena and Sheamus came out and talked about why the walk out was pretty much stupid. Punk, who walked out of the WWE at Money in the Bank with the WWE Title, wisely pointed out that the individuals walking out were doing so over the actions that they themselves were often responsible for, that it’s tough to complain about an unsafe workplace one minute and club your opponent in the head when his back’s turned the next. He then was incredibly excited to be the guest timekeeper and sole announcer for the John Cena vs. Sheamus match that was to start the show until…

    Vince McMahon Returned: And, in anti-Vince fashion, he didn’t make one reference to his supposedly gigantic genitalia. Though the part where the WWE Board of Directors had no problem with HHH as the COO was a little odd, as was McMahon’s distaste for a dude he himself hired and has continuously elevated up the corporate ladder, McMahon’s all-too-brief return and introduction of Johnny “Funkhauser” Ace as the Raw GM was more unnecessary proof of McMahon as one of the greatest talkers in the history of professional wrestling.

    Dolph Ziggler’s Response to Johnny Ace Being GM: Ace stood by the door of the arena and shook everybody’s hand as they came in for the day’s work. Most shook it or fist bumped or said “Thank you.” Ziggler said “WHATEVS” and kept going. Brilliant.

    Jim Ross Tips His Hat to Ace Upon Being Fired: I might just be the world’s biggest Jim Ross mark, and was incredibly angry to see him get fired in his home state of Oklahoma. Usually it’s good when something in wrestling enrages me, but this is about the 70th time J.R. has been fired in Oklahoma since he was signed to the WWF in time for Wrestlemania IX, and it left us with a problem the WWE’s been unwilling to deal with since this year’s WrestleMania: Their announcers engaged in a four-month long angle where one made fun of the others dead mother. Ross’ exit was class, though: A tip of the hat and a silent exit. He’ll probably be brought back for the 70th time, but by tipping his hat and walking out the door, J.R. silently said more than many men do given a live microphone and 20 minutes.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Hardly any matches ended cleanly, and the two that did weren’t really anything special. Worse, two main-event level matches–Cena/Sheamus and Punk/Del Rio–ended because some dude in a suit wanted to talk, instead.  It’s just as well, since Michael Cole spent the rest of RAW crowing about how happy he was JR was gone, and the minute Johnny Ace was made GM, it was just a matter of waiting for the axe to fall and Miz and R-Truth (collectively known as The Sharecroppers) were brought back to end the show. I continue to be disappointed by the WWE’s refusal to tie up the gigantic loose end of this angle, but hey, maybe Kevin Nash has one of those sweet Hulk Hogan deals and only needs to show up to the pay per views. I refuse to be excited about any further developments on Raw until Nash comes back.

    WWE SmackDown! (10/14/11) (Watch it on YouTube)

    CM Punk and Daniel Bryan Get, Like, Five Seconds Against Each Other: In the show’s opening 41-man battle royal (the biggest in WWE history, according to WWE), a lot of dudes got their clubber on with some other dudes, but I was given hope by the brief encounter between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, who needed to have an extended program yesterday. I thought it was going to happen a year or so ago, when Punk started calling Bryan’s matches, but then Punk got injured and the program was shelved. Too bad.

    Beth Phoenix Finally Beats Kelly Kelly Clean: About damn time.

    Sin Cara Unmasks Sin Cara: If this means Mistico will be making his proper WWE debut as Mistico sometime soon, I’m game.

    A fellow of infinite jest.

    Booker T’s explanation For the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara Feud: “Maybe it’s like those kung-fu movies, where the guy takes the other guy’s soul. Right? Right Josh?”

    Swaggler (Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger) vs. Kofi Kingston and Zack Ryder: With Evan Bourne suffering from Swaggler’s pre and post match beatdown on Monday Night Raw, Zack Ryder stepped in and teamed with WWE Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston to take on the team. Vickie Guerrero’s tag team find themselves engaged in three feuds–against Mason Ryan, against Air Boom (ugh, what a name), and against Ryder–and, for a minute, I thought they were going to forget about Ryder. Not so. Over the past few weeks, he’s pinned Dolph Ziggler three times and has eliminated him from a battle royal. I suspect a title match will be coming soon, which will be good.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: None, really. Just an overall good show with several good matches, two of which ended with understandable, logical interference. The only minor quibble is that Randy Orton went into his match against Mark Henry as if he’d never been in a 41-man battle royal, but Henry got to dominating him pretty early, so it didn’t matter. As has been true for the show’s duration, SmackDown! continues to be WWE’s better wrestling show. This week, it was more entertaining than Raw, too.

  • Wrestling Worth Watching: Ring of Honor (10/8/11) and Impact Wrestling (10/13/11)

    Wrestling Worth Watching: Ring of Honor (10/8/11) and Impact Wrestling (10/13/11)

    The first installment of Wrestling Worth Watching ran about 2,000 words longer than I wanted it to, so from here on out I’ll be splitting the post into three sections. The first will deal with Monday Night Raw and Ring of Honor, the second with TNA IMPACT Wrestling and WWE Friday SmackDown!, and the third with webshows–WWE’s NXT and Superstars, TNA’s Xplosion and so on, in addition to weekly awards and the occasional pay per view or live show report or indie DVD review. I know not everybody reading this blog is here for the wrestling, just like not everybody here is reading the movie reviews or the comic reviews or monster truck odes, but we’ll find a balance as the blog continues to grow and evolve.

    Ring of Honor Wrestling (10/8/11) (Watch it on rohwrestling.com)

    More Jim Cornette: I’ve still yet to see the second episode of ROH and can’t tell if this was a problem that got fixed right away, but it’s good to see Jim Cornette out there early, taking charge as the lead interviewer. The first episode featured Kevin Kelly announcing, interviewing, shilling, selling hot dogs and offering sexual favors to the viewing audience, and while he’s one of the better play-by-play men in the business right now, the more he wanders away from the commentary table, the more I want to see Jim Cornette out there. Clearly the pre-taped show was picking up on my future brainwaves.

    The Briscoe Brothers: If you don’t know the Briscoes, do so. Their response to losing $5,000 for attacking the World Tag Team Champions: “$5,000 can buy a lot of beer and bullets.” These guys aren’t just playing a role–the Southern hick thing is their life, and what life’s worth living once you need to cut back on the beer and ammo budget? Tremendous.

    Goofy Censor Noises: An ancient-sounding ring bell covers words like “bitches.” For some reason, I laughed.

    ROH In Focus: If you didn’t know Tommasso Ciampa or Prince Nana before this segment, you would after this. Can’t ask for much more than that from any segment, and it’s kind of sad to see how this sort of thing has all but disappeared from from modern wrestling. Give people a chance to account for themselves. They may surprise you. The only bad thing about a segment like In Focus is that it kind of makes the outcome of the match more obvious. This is a new product trying to introduce me to new stars–what are the odds that the guy in the video package loses right after it airs?

    A Disgruntled Ex-Ring of Honor Employee: Steve Corino did the commentary for Ciampa’s match against Andy “Right Leg” Ridge, and, beyond being very good, he mentioned that he’s lost the only friend he had–a disgruntled ex-Ring of Honor employee who has crashed events and caused enough chaos that his name has been blacked out on official records, even pertaining to his long and successful run as a tag team champion. Said employee, Kevin Steen, is probably the hottest property in independent wrestling, and his angle is an example of how to slowly tease a guys return, unlike WWE shotgunning CM Punk back onto TV because they had a Pay Per View to promote. ROH doesn’t have 1,000,000 live events depending on Steen’s presence, so they’re allowed to bide their time. When a fan demanded he be brought back, ROH’s color commentator, Nigel McGuinnes, called the kid a “complete wanker” and went back about his business. So far, so good.

    Roderick Strong: Claiming that winning the World Title would be better than having sex? That’s dedication.

    Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong: Just a good match for the ROH World Title. If you’re unfamiliar to any style of wrestling but what the WWE offers, it likely won’t convince you of ROH’s absolute dominance in terms of the quality of their wrestling, but in terms of what you can get for free, you take title matches like this and run before the company offering them changes their mind.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Having Kevin Kelly as the main play-by-play guy. Not that he’s not the best PBP guy around (especially seeing as Jim Ross hasn’t found his voice on a three man booth), but Ring of Honor is supposed to be the wrestling of young America, and Kevin Kelly’s about as cool as an uptight neighbor.

    This dude spent the early part of his career being clowned on by the Rock and occupying an announce desk with Shane McMahon on Sunday Night Heat. He is better than just about every announcer the WWE has brought in to replace him on his level, it’s clear that he cares about the product and he conveys all of that very well. Wrestling shouldn’t be about how cool you are, but coolness, I’m guessing, is the reason they brought back the bald British guy in his sunglasses to call the action right alongside him. Not having a young, fresh voice (like Dave Parazak, who is very good) calling the matches and introducing the product is, so far, ROH’s third biggest oversight, beyond ending their association with SHIMMER and cutting Chris Hero, Sara Del Rey and Colt Cabana from the roster. ROH will never be the slickest wrestling on TV in terms of presentation, but give a guy with some edge to his voice a headset, and the difference between it and the WWEs and TNAs of the world will be that much more pronounced. Hell, this is the one instance where I think a three man booth is justified, if not required.

    TNA IMPACT Wrestling (10/13/11)
    Bobby Roode Asks For a Clean Match: Never gonna happen, but it’s nice that he wants it. Angle’s crazy eyes (I’d call them a routine, but I’m not so sure) practically made the opening segment on their own, as Kurt was (as usually) a little less than intelligible, and Roode doesn’t really have much of a character beyond being a dude who wrestles. Angle/Roode promises to be a good wrestling match, though.

    Random, Feud Combining Tag Team Matches: I’ve been a fan of these since I was a kid. Two teams, made up of two guys who hate one guy on the other team but might not fit particularly well with their partner? As a way of keeping feuds fresh and interesting, I’m fine with this formula. So fine, in fact, that I won’t bother to complain that they used it twice. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. Christopher Daniels/Jerry Lynn overcame my indifference towards all four men and was quite entertaining, though neither Styles or Van Dam seemed to remember being attacked with chairs in the back. In the second match, Kid Kash and Austin Aries faced off against Brian Kendrick and Jesse Sorrenson, combining two X-Division feuds that’ve been going on since the Destination X pay per view. Aries is an absolute masterclass deserving of all the exposure in the world. Kendrick is one of my favorite wrestling personalities. Kid Kash, as I mentioned last week, has an amazing name and, when motivated, is pretty good. Sorrenson…I don’t know who he is, and he got beat up a lot. Another good, quick match that does its job in raising interest in the Bound For Glory pay per view.

    Matt Morgan vs. Samoa Joe: Two talented hosses a-clubberin’ each other? I’m down, even if I’m kind of tired of watching Samoa Joe lose, and even if I wonder at the logic of putting three hosses in a triple threat match to clubber each other with less structure. I’d love to see one of the three move up the card after this feud’s conclusion. I’d prefer Samoa Joe, who has been horrifically mismanaged, but wouldn’t mind seeing Matt Morgan finally live up to his seemingly infinite potential. Crimson’s got all the time in the world and probably doesn’t need to win.

    The Value of Ink Inc. On the Streets: If Mexican America were to pimp out Ink Inc., it’d be for “two cups of soup and a honey bun.” I wonder if those terms are negotiable.

    Christina Von Erie: Always nice to see indie talent on TV. Erie recently made her SHIMMER debut, and here she is on IMPACT, backing up Ink Inc. Makes sense, and it gives the Knockout division something different. As Taz says, “she’s drinking the same food and beverages Ink Inc. is.”

    Christopher Daniels Would Rather Hear AJ Styles Say “I Quit” than Murder Him Outright: That, friends, is wrestling.

    Scott Steiner: Always a fan.

    Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle Hype Video: A definite HBK/Hart vibe to the feud, which actualy makes sense here (Hart and Michaels were the same age, so making Michaels look like the young upstart made Hart look kind of stupid). Both Roode and Angle make good points, and make the match seem like it’ll be one of the more important ones in TNA history. This is why I anticipate that everything’s gonna go wrong.

    Jeff Hardy Looking Motivated: Not that Jeff Hardy is the greatest wrestler in the world, but he is certainly the most popular one on TNA’s roster, and it wouldn’t hurt if he legitimately wanted to make up for his failings and his mistakes. I have some problems with his return angle this week, though. First, Roode just got done talking about the company needing a face that wasn’t a cast-off from another company, then he gets saved by Hardy. Second, it really makes me fear that their big match on their big pay per view is going to be marred by 100 guys interfering on Kurt’s behalf, and that Roode, should he win, will only do so if Hardy lays Angle out for him.

    Questionable Decision of the Week: Not quite sure why the Knockouts need a Vice President, nor am I sure why Karen Jarrett should be the one to get the dubious title. I know that women’s divisions are historically cordoned off from the men, but taking it to this extreme is just pointless. Why can’t women wrestle without lame pretense? Why can’t we move past authority figure angles? It’s 2011, folks–nobody is gonna live up to Austin/McMahon, and Karen Jarrett’s having a hard time living up to Vickie Guerrero. I do wonder, though, what a “five-and-dime street walking ho’s” going rate is. Five, or a dime? (Lots of prostitution in TNA this week.)