Colette Arrand

Tag: Dario Cueto

  • Wrestling Review: Lucha Underground (2/25/15)

    Wrestling Review: Lucha Underground (2/25/15)

    Lucha Underground Prince Puma vs Cage

    Like an episode of NXT, Lucha Underground has to accomplish a lot within a very short window of time. Unlike NXT, they do not have the benefit of airing on a subscription-based network that can go without advertisements should it so choose. That Lucha Underground frequently outpaces NXT is impressive given that they lose about 10 minutes an episode to the WWE’s much-hyped product, and is due in large part to the rather effective way that they’ve built the pocket universe of The Temple. This episode begins quickly with a live musical performance by Mariachi El Bronx and Vampiro and Matt Striker setting up the most important match of the night. Quick, fast, painless, and, with a cut from the commentary position to the ring, we’re ready for the first match. That happens to be a rematch between Aerostar and Drago. Matt Striker, when he’s not trying to be a fan, is actually a decent announcer, and is quite effective in setting up this technico vs. technico match. He says that when two wrestlers share a mutual respect the action between them will be move-for-move, hold-for-hold. And that’s true, as the two start by shaking hands. It doesn’t take long for things to get out of hand though, as Aerostar takes Drago out of the ring with a headscissors, then follows through with a step-up springboard plancha that would have 99% of wrestlers crazy enough to try it eating floor.

    Aerostar comes up a little gimpy after that, which lets Drago take over. There’s some sloppy exchanges between the two as both men try to fit a crazy amount of action into a six minute contest. The big spots are impressive, but when Aerostar tries to flip over Drago in the corner, kicking his man in the head accidentally, and nothing happens? It’s noticeable. But the match is as even as Matt Striker claimed it would be, as Aerostar and Drago reel off big move after big move until Aerostar hits the biggest of the contest, a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor. Knowing he has the advantage, he rolls Drago into the ring, follows through with a springboard splash, and gets a clean win. As the two shake hands, Dario Cueto steps out of the office to say that he enjoyed their matches thus far, but that he wants to see more. Since the two are tied and so evenly matched, they’ll wrestle in a best of five situation with a “unique opportunity” on the line. Drago and Aerostar look pretty excited by that idea, and, over the course of three more matches, the intensity between them should pick up.

    Tonight’s main event is Johnny Mundo vs. King Cuerno in a first time ever encounter. They put the match over by running a video of Cuerno running in slow motion from rope to rope, before launching himself into his suicide dive. These video packages are short, but they always do an effective job of showing the athleticism of the Lucha Underground stars. Running the ropes is so basic that nobody stops to think about it, but watching Cuerno’s flesh ripple on contact, the message here is that every action in wrestling, no matter how small, has its consequence.

    After another short burst of music from Mariachi El Bronx, it’s time for Cage vs. Prince Puma. The production music for Lucha Underground is pretty noticeably bad compared to the live band, who, at times, have a camera on them that shows their reaction to big moves. Why not just have the band play the luchadores to the ring? Cage, if you’re new to Lucha Underground and are unfamiliar with the California scene, is an absolutely jacked monster of a man. As a cocky gringo, he stole Puma’s championship and ripped it apart, injuring both the champion and his manager in the process. Puma is making his return from that injury here and charges down the Temple steps and into the ring, where he’s almost immediately thrown around like a bag of rice. This is a classic speed vs. power match, and, as such, Cage has the advantage. Vampiro speculates that Prince Puma is a little lost without Konnan in his corner, and that’s how things play out at the beginning. Every time he tries to press his speed advantage, be it with a kick or a springboard maneuver, Cage is able to counter it with raw strength. One springboard move leads to a terrible transition, but it’s one small misstep in an otherwise very crisp match. A second springboard gets Puma caught, curled, and thrown overhead. The most impressive sequence early is all Cage’s athleticism, as he catches Puma with a powerslam, rolls through, and misses with a moonsault. But Puma quickly does Cage one better, as the missed moonsault leads to a step-up springboard shooting star press to the floor.


    Puma throws Cage back into the ring and hits him with a springboard 450 splash, but Cage is able to kick out at two. He finds Cage too heavy to lift, which lets Cage run at him for a clothesline. Puma ducks and uses the momentum to lift Cage up, but Cage blocks the kick Puma tries to throw at him from the fireman’s carry and gets picked up into a gutwrench powerbomb… which he reverses into a hurricanrana for two! These guys are just effortlessly putting together a series of impressive, high-impact moves, and it’s not even a championship match. Puma, yet the untested champion, feels he has something to prove, and Cage must win this match in order to receive a real title shot. The belt isn’t there since Cage ripped it up, but it manages to feel important nevertheless, especially as Puma kicks out of a series of increasingly brutal deathblows. After a pumphandle facebuster, Cage decides to utilize a stretch muffler to go for a submission. Puma looks like he is going to tap out, but Konnan reappears, willing his charge to the ropes. The appearance of the legendary luchador only raises Cage’s ire though, as he powerbombs the champion twice and follows through with his crazy Weapon X finisher.

    That’s not enough for Cage, though, as instead of going for the cover he mounts Puma and starts to level the defenseless champion with a series of forearm shots. Wanting to protect his charge, Konnan grabs a towel off of a ringside attendant and throws it in, signalling Puma’s surrender. Cage celebrates his win, draping the towel over Puma’s face like a flag. Backstage, Konnan tells an agitated Puma to follow the art of war. Cage thinks he knows how to beat Puma, but he didn’t pin the champion or make him submit. Puma needs to realize that this gives them a mental edge over Cage. They’re playing a game of deception. Whether or not that’s true, Puma looks like he wanted to keep going. Vampiro called Konnan’s play part of his agenda, which is something he’s been hinting at since the first episode of Lucha Underground. Konnan’s the manager of an exciting prizefighter, so I’d say his agenda is keeping his charge healthy enough for another fight. If there’s something sinister going on, it is unclear what, exactly, that is.

    Dario Cueto takes a meeting with Sexy Star in his office. She, like everybody else watching Lucha Underground, is tired of men running in at the end of her matches. She feels like, despite what The Crew did to her friends last week, she had that match in hand. Cueto, who wanted to use The Crew to eliminate Star, Mascarita Sagrada, and Pimpinella Escarlata, twists Stars words around, insinuating that she has a problem with Big Ryck. She says that’s not the case, and that her issue is with The Crew. Cueto offers her a match with Big Ryck, which she takes to mean a tag team match with Ryck as her partner, but that’s not the case. Cueto wants Sexy Star to wrestle Ryck, promising that no men will come to rescue her, and that the winner will get to settle their issue with The Crew first. This makes Star happy. I think it’s good that Lucha Underground is addressing one of the chief criticisms of how they present intergender wrestling as part of its product. As for how it’ll play out, we’ll have to wait and see. Pentagon, Jr. wrestles a quick match against a California wrestler named Vinny Massaro, who is rather schlubby-looking for a televised product, but since he’s there to take a beating it doesn’t really matter. Pentagon lets the world know that this match is dedicated to his yet-unseen master, then takes apart Massaro in short order. His chops are brutal. His superkick is on the button. He wrecks Massaro with the pumphandle driver and picks up the win. Just as Vampiro speculates that Pentagon, Jr. may have calmed down, he goes under the ring and pulls out a table. He powerbombs Massaro through it, applies his armbreaker to the thoroughly beaten Italian, and breaks the arm as he has done to his last few opponents. He kisses the mat and pays tribute to his master, who I’m looking forward to seeing. Pentagon, Jr. flat out rules.

    King Cuerno has been hunting Johnny Mundo for some time now, targeting the former WWE Superstar’s knee, which is the secret to his parkour. Cuerno has one of the coolest looks in all of wrestling, which, considering the incredible variety of luchadores in Lucha Underground, is saying a lot. Johnny Mundo isn’t messing around, either. He skips his usual entrance and gets right down to business. His temper lets Cuerno outsmart him for a bit, but Mundo quickly takes Cuerno down and knees him in the face. Cuerno goes after Mundo’s knee right after the nearfall and looks to hit a slingshot move, but Mundo hits a superkick and follows Cuerno to the floor with a huge barrel roll!


    Shortly thereafter, Mundo gets Cuerno back in the ring and starts working his rival over with a series of clotheslines. Striking has never particularly been Johnny Mundo’s game, but he has a pretty decent spear. Mundo tries to hit the Moonlight Drive, but it’s too early. Cuerno goes for his finisher, the Thrill of the Hunt, but the same goes for him. Though this is a first time meeting between two guys who wouldn’t have had much reason to be interested in one another before Cuerno thought of Mundo as a good trophy, the two wrestle one another like they’ve studied each other’s game. Like the opening contest between Aerostar and Drago, that means that they go move-for-move, each one hoping their next blow will be the one that tilts the advantage in their favor. That seems to go to Mundo, as he hits Moonlight Drive and looks for his End of the World finish, but his knee gives him some pause and Cuerno kicks him from the top turnbuckle to the floor. That lets Cuerno hit a tope suicida, which runs Mundo into a guardrail. Mundo tries to put some space between them, perhaps looking for some of his parkour-based nonsense, but Cuerno beats him to the punch with another tope suicida, this one sending Mundo into the commentary table. Curneo gets a third tope suicida, and Mundo is really out of it. His knee was banged up before the match, his back is banged up now, and though he’s usually the master of working a wrestling match on the floor, Cuerno has him. The referee starts a 10 count and Cuerno is up well before it, but he just looks at Mundo and lets the referee finish to end the match in a draw. Huh. The two do a double clothesline spot, but if that was the finish of the match, there was some miscommunication. Soon they’re up and fighting again, ignoring the referee as they brawl through The Temple, all the way up the stairs. Things get so heated that Cuerno decks the referee, right before Mundo powerslams him through a chain link fence. It’s a nice, spirited brawl that will lead to another match down the line, but things were really starting to pick up and get interesting before the strange 10 count. Given Mundo’s love of a no longer cool form of free running and Cuerno’s hunter gimmick, I wouldn’t be surprised if the two settle it in a falls count anywhere match. Maybe we’ll even see what’s out there beyond the walls of The Temple. Still, when members of the audience are gathering around the announcer’s table to watch what’s going on from a tiny monitor, you’re doing something good.

    Results

    1. Aerostar def. Drago via pinfall. GRADE: B-

    2. Cage def. Prince Puma via forfeit when Konnan threw in a towel as Cage pummeled his helpless charge. GRADE: B+

    3. Pentagon, Jr. def. Vinny Massaro via pinfall. GRADE: C+

    4. King Cuerno and Johnny Mundo went to a double count out. GRADE: B

  • Wrestling Review: Lucha Underground (2/18/15)

    Wrestling Review: Lucha Underground (2/18/15)

    It’s been awhile since I checked on Lucha Underground in this space, but that train has kept moving just fine. Their finely crafted blend of plot, action, and background has served them well and continues to as they take on new roster members like Texano, former AAA Mega Champion, and Alberto el Patrón, the man formerly known as Alberto Del Rio. They’re well past the stage now where they have to keep explaining what makes their brand different (the luchadores, the rules, the fact that men can fight women) and just keep pressing on. It’s really impressive, seeing what they do with an hour of television every week, and given the storylines that’ve been simmering since Prince Puma won the Lucha Underground Championship, I wouldn’t at all be opposed to something like an NXT Takeover special out of them, to see how Lucha Underground functions as a live show where all the stories converge and resolve.

    That won’t be happening anytime soon, though, so it’s best to appreciate what we have. Matt Striker and Vampiro don’t have much time to talk, as the first match is part of a bookended main event, Chavo Guerrero, Jr. finally facing Mil Muertes over Guerrero’s betrayal of the man of 1,000 deaths some months ago. It’s fortunate for Guerrero that it took so long for this match to happen, as Muertes is without Catrina, his second, who has in her possession a stone that is capable of controlling the big luchador in a way that’s similar to The Undertaker’s urn. Where Muertes was a big, bruising destroyer a few months ago, he’s more vulnerable now, and the crafty, youngest Guerrero is able to pick his spots throughout. He spends the majority of the contest working on Muertes’ leg, which is smart little guy vs. big guy strategy, but Muertes, distracted or not, is still a hulk. Something I like about him (about Lucha Underground in particular, as well as NXT), is that something as simple as a punch is still treated with respect. The referee doesn’t reprimand Muertes for using them, but each one he lands on Guerrero is a bomb.

    The story of this match is less about what Chavo Guerrero did to Mil Muertes (who once threatened that all of Mexico would be coming for him, a prophecy that is thus far untrue) than it is about Muertes’ seeming aimlessness without Catrina. So she comes out to the ring, carrying Muertes’ stone. He doesn’t notice her for awhile, powering Chavo around the ring, but when he does he can’t look away. This lets Chavo go to his pal, the steel chair, and nail Muertes with it, causing a disqualification. This does not, however, faze Muertes, who now easily dominates his opponent, hitting him with a flatliner on the chair. He wants Catrina to get into the ring to lick Chavo, which was once their post-match ritual (instead of calling it the “kiss of death,” they’ve decided to stick with the much more literal “lick”), but she refuses. This makes Mil Muertes angry enough to grab Catrina by the hair and bring her into the ring, where it looks like he is going to hit her with the flatliner until Fenix rescues her. His reward is a kiss from Catrina. Look at how jazzed he is for that kiss:

    Catrina Fenix Lucha Underground

    That is one hype dude. Matt Striker speculates that “where the tongue goes, the loyalty goes.” And, yeah, that’s the way it looks. Good broadcast journalism, Matt Striker.

    Lucha Underground does a fair amount of its storytelling via these backstage vignettes that are filmed in hilariously “grimy” television sets. The Temple itself is a set, but they do a fair enough job of rotating new audience members in and out that the studio setting never feels too distracting, even if nobody in the crowd cares about faces or heels, rudos or technicos. Some of the backstage promos, usually ones featuring Dario Cueto, are pretty good. Some, like the ones featuring a sneaky woman sneaking around the Temple in clothes she lifted from The Matrix, are what they are. Angela Fong, who has yet to be given her official Lucha Underground name, gets two segments tonight. Previously, she has been seen hanging out in the audience. She picks locks. She kicks doors in. She sees a cage rattling and is excited because she swore, as a girl, to kill whatever’s inside. Then she gets bagged by an unseen assailant. Lucha Underground is trying something new here, filming wrestling angles like they’re scenes from a film or a television show. It worked well, I thought, in introducing Prince Puma, but here I’m not so sure. What does shooting from the point-of-view of whatever’s in that cage accomplish, beyond preventing us from seeing it? And what do you do with someone like Fong, who is not a wrestler and is not really an actor and who is being asked to deliver some stilted, Saturday afternoon movie dialog? When the monster debuts, will Striker and Vampiro know about it from watching the show on television later, or is this one of those closed universes that exists entirely outside that plausable realm? And, if that’s the case, then how does Matt Striker know about New Japan Pro Wresting’s Wrestle Kingdom 9 if he’s been locked away in the universe of the Temple? I’m overthinking this, especially since this story has gone nowhere so far, but I think that pondering the implications of a somewhat limited, but open, universe is valuable four months into a show like Lucha Underground, which has recently taken to calling itself a league. What’s the wrestling/film ratio, and how much can the show handle away from the ring before it becomes too much? I’d like to know.

    The other backstage segment takes place in Dario Cueto’s office. Evil authority figures are overdone in wrestling, but Cueto is a pretty good one, a man who appears to not care about anything but making money, but who is into some pretty heinous stuff. Case in point, his meeting with The Crew, who now wear matching basketball jerseys with that distinction so that those unfamiliar with the three can tell Cortez Castro, Bael, and Mr. Cisco apart. Cueto is a fan of what they did to Big Ryck a few weeks back, putting out his eye with a cigar. He loved it so much that he’s going to tell his grandchildren about it, when he has grandchildren. Evil stuff. He wants to see The Crew in more main event spots, but feels that they need to prove that blinding Ryck wasn’t a fluke. They’re in the main event tonight, against a trio of “freaks”: Sexy Star, Mascarita Sagrada, and Pimpinela Escarlata. The Temple is open for anybody, but he’s not happy that a woman, a mini, and an exótico are so over with the crowd, and he wants The Crew to take them out. He makes a no-disqualification trios match between those two for later.

    In the ring, Ivelisse lectures her boyfriend Son of Havoc for being a loser and figures that they’d be better of if she fought his battles. She’s not wrong, considering Son of Havoc’s abysmal win/loss/draw record. Ivelisse’s opponent is Angélico, a fellow from South Africa who previously defeated Son of Havoc. I’m all for intergender wrestling, and Ivelisse is an impressive woman whose work I’m not as familiar with as I’d like to be, but this kind of intergender contest, where the man makes like he just can’t hit a woman though she’s hitting him pretty goddamn hard, is more problematic to me than those where the man just destroys the woman. Underdog narratives are one thing, but Angélico’s strategy is to work Ivelisse into a series of dance moves, attempting to kiss her. It’s supposed to be cute, but whatever. Once Ivelisse hits him with a springboard rana, that should get Angélico out of the blocks. It almost does, as he pops Ivelisse into the air with a flapjack, but he plays the role of chivalrous man until Son of Havoc kicks him in the jaw. This sends him stumbling head over heels over a recovering Ivelisse, who takes the win from there with a roll-up. Lucha Underground has constantly touted itself as believing in the equality of men and women in the ring, but the action in its intergender matches thus far has shown that it only goes so far. If Angélico’s refusal to engage with Ivelisse resulted in him getting his head kicked in and a clean victory for her, so much the better. But Ivelisse, despite getting 90% of the offense in this match, can’t win without the help of a dude. It’s the same pattern that’s been established in most of Sexy Star’s matches, the difference being that Ivelisse is a rudo. Equality becoming more of a fact than a talking point would be a nice step forward in the coming weeks.

    Last week, Alberto el Patrón arrived in The Temple, but his debut was spoiled by Texano, who whipped the stunned AAA champion with his bullrope. Before his match against Super Fly, we’re given more of Texano’s story via a pre-taped interview by Vampiro, where he says that he is here to crush Alberto el Patrón and take back the championship he feels was stolen from him. It’s a good interview, showing off Texano’s intensity. Also, they splice in a good amount of footage from Texano’s time in AAA, where he is shown running roughshod over a number of luchadores, and from his feud against Patron. Most of Lucha Underground’s hispanic viewers are already AAA fans and are familiar with his work and the ongoing issue he has with Patrón, but the interview is very helpful to a stupid American like me, who knows Patrón from his “exile” in the United States and knows of AAA, but doesn’t keep up with it. It’s very well produced, as is much of Lucha Underground’s show. His match against Super Fly is short and to the point, showing off Texano’s size, speed, and agility. He’s an impressive athlete, and he absorbs some solid shots from Super Fly. In the end, though, Super Fly eats Texano’s double neckbreaker combination, whatever momentum he once had now all but lost. This brings out Patrón, who is the best in the world at ripping off a suit jacket and looking real angry. They fight, and it is Patrón who comes out on top, grabbing Texano’s bullrope and whipping his rival with it. Referees and security guards separate the two and Texano takes a powder, so Patrón whips the referees instead. It’s simple, effective wrestling storytelling, and I’m looking forward to seeing Alberto el Patrón wrestle mean against a guy who might be able to match him.

    In the office, Dario Cueto takes a meeting with Cage, a big ‘ol white dude who debuted not too long ago, smashing Prince Puma and his championship. He demands to be named the Lucha Underground champion, but Cueto, as impressed as he is with Cage, says that it isn’t that easy. While he’s certainly beaten up Puma in the past, his last match against him ended in defeat. He’ll need to actually beat Puma to prove that he deserves a shot. That’s fine with Cage, so long as Cueto makes a belt that isn’t Aztec garbage. Chavo Guerrero busts into the office next and says that he doesn’t need Lucha Underground anymore; he just wants to go home and be with his family. Cueto wishes him the best in all his future endeavors, which is a line that gets Chavo angry because that’s what WWE puts in all of their press releases when they fire guys, and they have fired Chavo in the past. It’s a good, subtle dig since it’s dickish regardless of the viewer’s knowing that. Cueto tells Chavo that the doors of his Temple are always open, then figures that the gods won’t be happy about what happened to his strap made of leather and Aztec gold. Look at how much they’re able to do there, in that short segment!

    The main event is, as promised, a no disqualification match. Interestingly, despite El Ray being a network that plays grindhouse films on Friday nights, the level of violence in no disqualification matches has thus far been below what is presented on WWE’s fairly sanitized product. This match, pitting The Crew against Sexy Star, Mascarita Sagrada, and Pimpinela Escarlata, is really no different, though it works as a good showcase for both the diversity of Mexican lucha libre and the budding star potential of Sexy Star. The Crew work to take out each of their opponents one after the other. The first is Pimpi, who makes the mistake of kissing Cortez Castro. Castro takes Pimpinela Escarlata out with a kendo stick. Mascarita Sagrada does better, but when he dives out onto The Crew, he is quickly swarmed, powerbombed into the ring apron, curbstomped on a chair, and left for dead. That leaves Sexy Star. She finds herself in the ring alone with Mr. Cisco, who takes the opportunity to check her out. Matt Striker uses this as an opportunity to say that he’s not as sexist and misogynistic as Cisco, which is a) debatable and b) not exactly a stirring defense in the face of fan complaint.

    Pimpinela Escarlata Lucha Underground

    Sexy Star is able to outsmart The Crew for much of the match, making it seem like the three made a mistake by leaving her in last. Star is a really compelling character, one of the best in wrestling at the moment. Though she’s a rudo in Mexico, Lucha Underground recognized from the start the value of an equality fighter. Mascarita and Pimpi are great, but they’re more like representatives from very specific niches in lucha libre. Sexy Star, upon her debut, made it clear that wrestling was her life, the thing that saved her when she had no hope, and the thing she continues to fight for. While the results of her matches haven’t exactly propped her up as well as they should, everything up until someone comes to her rescue is usually quite good. Here’s another case in point. After The Crew take out her teammates, Sexy Star takes each one of them out until it’s a one one one match. Bael takes a tornado DDT to the floor. Cortez Castro goes down to a fisherman’s neckbreaker. That leaves Mr. Cisco, the leader of The Crew, and while he’s initially able to stop a super rana, he takes too long with his powerbomb counter and is eventually taken up and over. Sexy Star gets a two count for this and The Crew reassemble, ready to put the evil on her, but that is Big Ryck’s cue to reenter The Temple. Cisco and Castro exit the ring, leaving Bael as easy pickings for Sexy Star, who wins with a roll-up. Again, that pattern. It’s noticeable because I’m no stranger to intergender wrestling, and because of how common this finish seems to be in Lucha Underground. They get away with it because Star was fighting alone and it makes sense for an exhausted Crew to run from a gigantic man whose eye they put out with a cigar, but if the only guy who can lose clean to a woman is El Mariachi Loco, a man whose character is that he quit his dishwashing gig around the corner from The Temple and found a lucha mask, then what does that really say for that aspect of the product?

    Results:

    1. Mil Muertes def. Chavo Guerrero, Jr. via disqualification. GRADE: B-

    2. Ivelisse (w/Son of Havoc) def. Angélico via pinfall. GRADE: C

    3. Texano def. Super Fly via pinfall. GRADE: C+

    4. Sexy Star, Pimpinela Escarlata, and Mascarita Sagrada def. The Crew (Mr. Cisco, Cortez Castro, and Bael) via pinfall. GRADE: B